Lessons From Older Women

by | Aug 19, 2012 | From My Heart | 5 comments

Paul told Timothy to teach the older women to teach the younger women the things necessary to be a godly woman. Sounds easy enough. Older women willing to share their wealth of knowledge and wisdom, younger women eagerly sitting at the feet of these gentle, caring women. Possibly in a ladies’ Bible class setting or in a one-on-one, mentor sort of relationship. What a beautiful picture this conjures up in our minds but is it the norm?

I remember a friend talking about her great desire to learn at the feet of an older woman in her congregation. Sadly, that older woman was not willing to share her wisdom. She did not see the need of cultivating a relationship with someone she barely knew. Why couldn’t she go to someone else? What a waste.

It’s not just the older women failing in their responsibilities. If an older woman is willing to share her wisdom and knowledge, is there a younger woman willing to learn? I read an article in a parenting magazine that instructed the young mothers that they needed to teach their mothers how to take care of the grandchild. Raising children has changed so much over the past 30 years that young women can no longer look to their elders for encouragement and advice. What? Really? That’s not the way God looks at it.

As I look back at the older women that have influenced my life, I am so thankful they were willing to share with me what they knew. Many times the teaching didn’t happen in a formal setting, although many times it did. If it happened in a formal setting, the lessons I learned were not necessarily specifically related to the lesson being presented at the moment. More likely, it was a simple statement made that stuck in my mind.

One in particular had a profound influence on me. She had been a preacher’s wife. She was still his wife but he was not preaching any longer. She taught our ladies’ Bible class. Because of something she said, within just a few years I had the courage and determination to teach a ladies’ Bible class myself. This is only remarkable if you knew me back then. I was terribly shy. I never pictured myself standing up in front of anyone and saying anything. What did she say to change the way I thought about teaching? She was trying to encourage others women in the congregation to teach help teach the class. She said, “Diana, as a preacher’s wife, you are going to have to teach ladies class at some point. You might as well start now.” Much later, I remembered what she said and decided that I didn’t want to be a 40 year old preacher’s wife that had never taught a ladies’ class before. I decided to take the plunge and teach one while I was still young enough for the class to be gentle with me. She didn’t say much and I don’t know if she ever knew that what she said stuck with me but I rarely teach a ladies’ class without thinking about her.
 
The reason I am even writing about this is because I recently came in contact with an older woman that influenced me about the same time as the event above. I hadn’t seen her in many years but seeing her again brought to mind all the things I learned from that gospel meeting week her and her husband stayed with us. She wasn’t all that old but she had already raised her kids when I met her and I was in my early 20s. I want to share 2 of the things I learned from her with you.

1. Do what you can in your little corner of the world. Young people can become overwhelmed with the possibilities and the responsibilities to do good. It can be overwhelming. Teaching others about God, helping the needy, tending to the sick, fighting world hunger and seeking world peace. Where do you start? When do you find the time? There just aren’t enough hours in the day to do all the good things that need to be done. When things get overwhelming, people demand my attention, even to the point of interfering with my family responsibilities, I think of what she said. It’s not my responsibility to change the world. I need to do what I can in my little corner of the world. That’s basically what Paul told Timothy when he said to teach the older women to teach the younger women to love their husbands, love their children, manage their home, etc.

2. Do what’s best for your family without worrying about what society expects. They made the decision to allow their daughter to drop out of school and get married. Not a popular decision among their friends and family or society in general. Our society generally says marriage should wait until both parties have finished their education and had or at least started their career. Is that really the best way to go? With so many temptations to sin outside of marriage is it really a good idea to insist a young couple remain unmarried, possibly for years? What did I learn from this? Don’t follow the crowd or society’s expectations or even your family/friends’ expectations. Raise your children to love and obey God. Make your decisions about your family based on God’s will not what other expect or want. This discussion I had with her gave me the courage to have my babies at home and to home school even though other people thought I was crazy.

These are just a very few things I’ve learned from older women. There are a whole lot more. While much teaching can be done in a formal setting such as a ladies’ class, the lessons that really stick out in my mind are the casual comments and relaxed discussions I’ve had with women. These women probably didn’t even realize they were influencing me. They were just talking about life and I was soaking it all in.

What special skill does this take? Whether you are the older woman or the younger woman, it takes time. Time to spend with someone that may not be in your circle of friends or in your family. Take time to build relationships with women of a different generation and you will be blessed by the older woman’s wisdom and knowledge and the opportunity to fulfill your God given duty to teach the younger women.

5 Comments

  1. Marla

    Yes, thank you so much for sharing this! I have to admit that over the past 10 years or so, while I’ve been so blessed by older women who have encouraged me, I’ve also been very disappointed at so many who should have years of experience and wisdom to share who act childishly and foolishly. While we as young women have the responsibility to seek after the wisdom of older women, Paul’s instruction to Titus was to teach the older women to train the younger women. (Which is a good reminder for me to seek how to help women younger than me, too!)

    Reply
  2. Silvia

    Thanks for sharing. Last week and older woman in my congregation talked to me about a young family and their normal struggles with their three young children, one a baby, one a toddler, one a young child, and she told me if I remembered when I first came to CyFair and my girls were quite difficult at the time, and how nicely they are now.

    She told me it would probably be best for me to talk to the young mom. And to tell you the truth she is one of those willing to hear, such a lovely young lady.

    I have not had mentors and though I am not blaming anybody but me, I could have used some older women advice when, for example, I picked my wedding dress. I understand too that being so new, a foreigner, and a very young christian, it may have been difficult for women to come to me with such a ‘touchy’ matter. When I talk about this people think I married with a V back dress or something, LOL. No, but the fact that my gown it was slightly immodest does not make it less immodest than an open V back dress or a stripe less dress.

    I remember my friend, actually younger than me, a preacher’s wife, that asked me to substitute in class. That vote of confidence made me feel apt for it and overcome my fears of parents or children not liking the fact I have a strong accent or that I did not know at the time those little ones songs, or even the books of the Bible by heart… in one word, it was the encouragement of another woman, and her example that acted as my advice.

    Nowadays at 41 I am young, still young in the faith, and younger than elderly women who teach and admonish me, and old, older than so many who I feel sometimes come close to me, or others tell me to get close to, and to be of help.

    Diana. About your last email.

    We could not go to the gospel meeting in such a short notice. I do not want you in charge of my responsibilities as a christian, but could you email me gospel meetings close to us being held in the future? Or tell me where I can find them.

    And about visiting you. We hopefully will be able to plan something together for late September or even October. October is a good month, Steve can ask for some days off, and we will certainly love to visit your home.

    Hugs,

    Reply
    • Diana

      It can be hard to approach and admonish someone that you don’t know very well. The ladies here in Huntington strive to get to know each other well enough that if one of us is approached by another about a problem they see in our life, neither will be embarrassed or insulted. Our hope is that we can all be as close as sisters and feel free to discuss whatever needs discussing. It can be difficult and takes a commitment of our time and of our selves but we are always working on it and the rewards are worth it.

      Sorry you missed the meeting. I would love to finally get to hear that accent. We’ll keep in touch about September or October.

      Reply
  3. Ashley Dillard

    Thank you Aunt Diana for your words of wisdom. I love this!

    Reply
    • Diana

      Thank you for taking the time to read it, Ashley.

      Reply

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